Forgiving Difficult People

I have found in my many years of ministry that the greatest need is a need for forgiveness. We just don’t want to let go of some issues. More than often, we don’t really know how these issues are affecting us in our present situation, and as individuals, we aren’t able to deal with too much at a time.

Forgiveness lesson from flowers (Photo credit: juliejordanscott)

I remember early in my Christian life when I talked to the Lord and said, “I’m tired of dealing with this stuff over and over. Let’s get it all straight NOW.”

As I went to prayer, the Lord saith, “You can’t.”

I said, “Why not?”

“Because you couldn’t handle it right now,” He continued.

God is so wonderful. He gives us just what we can deal with at this time as forgiveness is a lifelong practice.

I had to forgive someone in authority. He was constantly critical of my work and demanding. I couldn’t do anything to please him. My friends and family didn’t like the way he was treating me. It was hard to forgive him as I had once held him in high esteem. I had looked up to him as an exemplary and godly leader.

God said to me, “You cannot move out of this job, until you have forgiven until him.”

As I forgave him, the Lord began to show me how to forgive him, and to release honor to the office he held. Because from God’s point of view, even when the person is unreasonable and demanding, you can forgive him, release him and take it to the cross. We are like an onion peeling off the layers. My unforgiveness came off layer by layer.

Forgiveness is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight. It needs to be worked through, and God has to give you the right perspective. We can honor the position, even when the person is wrong. God moved me from that position only when I was able to forgive that person.

After I forgave him, God released me and provide a new job that lead into a new business.

Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your remembrance anyone you need to forgive, this can include people living or deceased. Just because the person is deceased doesn’t mean it is over. Remember forgiveness is more for you than for the other person.

Write down all the names of the people you need to forgive and the offense.

You may be saying, “Wait just a minute. Do I have to think about the offense they did also?”

Yes, because the more specific you are, the freer you will become. After you have composed your list, repeat this Prayer of Healing for every name and the offense.

Father, I thank you that you have made it possible for me to experience freedom through forgiveness. The way to receive forgiveness is to give forgiveness. I forgive ________________________ (name) for _________________(offense). I forgive him/her for hurting me and causing me pain. I release him from any debt I thought he owed me. I also let go of trying to get even or judging them, and I placed them in the hands of Jesus and His work on the cross. Amen.

Take all of these hurts and and pains, and put them at the foot of the cross, where Jesus washes them away with his blood.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12